I haven’t talked a lot about my son and the problems he’s had throughout his life. They began early because of learning disabilities. He struggled in school and as anyone familiar with learning disabilities knows, the low self-esteem comes right along with it. Those kids never feel like they are good enough. Add the loss of your baby sister to it and it’s a recipe for disaster.
My son didn’t finish high school and by the time he was 18, he was a father. And he’s had three more since then. The whole time he’s struggled with emotional issues that he can’t quite get past. He has come a long way but he has a long way to go. The thing is that he really has this tender heart that knows no bounds. It’s just a little hard to find with some of his anger issues.
He had to spend 60 days in jail for a theft charge a couple of years ago and has been on probation since. He hasn’t been in trouble and has done everything he was required to do. In other words, he learned from it.
His anger issues are not violent type issues. He just yells a lot. And when he gets there, he can’t stop the tears. I think there is a lot of grief he hasn’t been able to let go of and that may be getting in his way. On top of that, his ex girlfriend is crazy. She knows what buttons to push and she does it regularly.
He was working with his dad for a while. That was until today. Something happened that I’m still not sure about. He apparently was having an argument on the phone with someone and his anger got the best of him and he started yelling. It was then that his dad walked around the corner and yelled at him to shut up.
Don’t get me wrong, he shouldn’t have been yelling. He does need to learn to control that part of his anger. I have a feeling it’s a work in progress. The thing is, this shop is in the middle of nowhere. No one is around so the only one who heard him was his dad. And, of course, his dad yelled at him.
You see, his dad has always treated him and his brother differently than their sister, my oldest. I found out today that he even treats the boys differently. I was actually given a couple of examples.
The boss at the shop is just an ass. Wouldn’t you know it? My husband and he fit well together. Anyway, the boss accused my son of stealing change from him. He didn’t do it in private; he did it in front of my husband. And my husband didn’t defend him. I have change sitting around here and if he was going to continue the thieving life, he would be able to steal from me. And he doesn’t.
The boss has also called him names and my husband doesn’t say anything to him. But my other son drives a truck for them. And when he’s tried to mess with him, my husband gets in his face. But he wouldn’t defend Brandon.
Today, the result of this was my son coming home, packing his clothes, and leaving. I know where he is and I know he’s with friends. I’m concerned with what he’s going to do for a job and if he’ll eat. You know, the mom thing.
What do you think all this causes in terms of his self esteem? He really does think his dad doesn’t care for him. And I’m certain that he will never have a relationship with his father.
I think my husband will get exactly what he wants. He won’t have anyone here and even his kids will eventually not keep in touch with him. My other son is trying to finish some credits in college so he can enter the Army. All my husband will have left is my daughter. But I’m thinking that may be what he wants.